How do you wipe your bum? #LetsTalkBums

Um, yes, yes I did just ask that question. How do you wipe your bum?  How do you wipe your bum? (This post is brought to you by our friends (who also have bums) at Cottonelle).

I’m serious.

We all have a bum.  There’s no way around it.  In fact, you are probably sitting on yours right now!


When we change a baby, we clean their bum with a wet cloth.  Maybe it’s a washcloth, maybe it’s a baby wipe. But we wipe with wet.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but babies pee, and babies poo, and so the whole use a wet cloth to clean their bum makes total sense.  AmIright?

fisher price dream dollhouse bathroom

So here’s where I’m confused.

WE all pee and poo.  Every last one of us.  Like I tell my kids- if it eats, it poos.  No exceptions.  Something goes in, something comes out.

But as you leave the adorable stages of infancy, it’s not quite so cute to have the wiping of the bum and people start to expect you to wipe your own bum. With just toilet paper.

Which, let’s be honest, here, we can’t exactly SEE our bum during the actual wiping of.

And most of us just use dry toilet tissue.

Say WHAT now?

Who’s idea was it to stop using those pleasantly wet cloths to wipe our bums?  I want names, people.)


What happens in the bathroom needs to stay in the bathroom. Come ON, people.  We have candles and sprays in there, right?  Plus plenty of dry toilet paper.  We keep supplies on hand because no one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to be caught unprepared in the bathroom.  (It’s an actual fear of mine, we never have less than 36 spare rolls of TP in the house). So if we want EVERYTHING to stay in the bathroom, why aren’t we doing a more through and cleansing job?

We don’t wipe a baby’s bum with dry toilet tissue.

Why do we leave it all up to a ply or three of toilet tissue?

Let’s rebel.  Let’s all join forces and make a pact right now to keep it all in the bathroom.  Cleansing cloths for everyone!!  Let’s go back to our (bum) roots and end each bathroom visit clean and fresh!!


Think about how fresh and clean you can feel when combining the flushable cleansing cloths with Cottonelle Clean Care toilet paper. Don’t you want a fresh and clean feeling bum? I know I do!! A fresh, clean bum is a happy bum.

Fresh Care Flushable Cleansing Cloths
– Flushable
– Break up after flushing
– Sewer- and septic-safe
– Alcohol-free
– OneTouch dispensing tub
– Great for the entire family

Clean Care Toilet Paper

– Strong and effective for a confident clean
– Tuggable, huggable softness that goes a long way
– Two-ply
– Pairs well with Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths for the ultimate in clean

savings to wipe your bum
Check it out! Receive a $1.50 coupon for Cottonelle Clean Care TP & Flushable Cleansing Cloths to experience the fresh, clean feeling for  yourself.

Your bum will thank me.

So should you.


This post is brought to you by our friends at Cottonelle, and by dirty un-fresh bums everywhere.

About the author: I’m a 30-something mom to three, brand ambassador. content creator, social media maven, blogger extraordinaire, earth lover, butcher, baker, candlestick maker (or something along those lines) – love word games, crafting, cake decorating or shooting pictures.

16 comments… add one
  • Ha! These posts always crack me up, your hilarious. I do want to try this dispenser though 🙂

  • Love this post, so funny! My son is very intrigued with the body and its functions at the moment 😉

  • I love Cottonelle! Their wet wipes are awesome! And your last photo was the best ever!

  • You know, now that you put it that way why DO we use dry toilet paper to wipe our people bits and pieces? It really doesn’t make any sense! Plus if you really think about it dry toilet paper can’t be as affective as wet wipes.

    This is definitely something that needs to be changed!

  • What an enjoyable post…lol. Probably, because I totally agree with you! We keep wipes in the bathroom along with toilet paper.

  • Amen to everything in this post. I am a fan of wipes!

  • Why wouldn’t anyone want to clean as much as possible? I’m all for wiped bums!

  • Agree! Wipes for all!

  • I love Cottonelle’s Fresh Wipes – and their regular TP, too. They make a great combo.

  • You are so right! Somewhere along the line we stop using the wipes, which do a great job!

  • This is hilarious! And I agree – why do we use just dry tissue on ourselves and wet on babues or to clean up other messes? Good question!

  • We actually have a container of these wipes in our bathroom.

  • This is such a cute post. You’re right, why don’t we use wipes like babies do? I’ll have to try these out!

  • I was one of the first on the wipes bandwagon – I’ve never understood why we use them on babies and not on ourselves!

    • Seriously!! We’re um… messier than babies sometimes!

  • Love this post! So true that it needs to stay in the bathroom!


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