5 Things I Never Thought I’d Say

There are many phrases parents don’t expect to utter until they have children….here are a few of my current faves!  Parenting sure is fun sometimes!

1. Please don’t cut the cat’s hair…your sister’s hair… the dog’s hair…mommy’s hair….

2. Please don’t put stickers on your penis.

3.Please don’t feed the cat waffles.

4. Please don’t feed the baby the dog’s food.

5. Please don’t lick the lobster tank.

lobster tank

Photo credit: http://www.swwilson.com/stainless_steel_pan


Got any of your own?


About the author: I’m a 30-something mom to three, brand ambassador. content creator, social media maven, blogger extraordinaire, earth lover, butcher, baker, candlestick maker (or something along those lines) – love word games, crafting, cake decorating or shooting pictures.

11 comments… add one
  • I love all of yours and really want to start writing mine down. I have mentioned many of them to hubs but of course we forget. One that stands out is “Please don’t grab your weenie or butt while you dance”

  • I so can relate to all of these lol thanks for a great laugh!

  • Hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs! 🙂

  • The sticker on your penis – that I’ve had to say too!, but never “don’t lick the lobster tank.” Thanks for the laugh

  • LOL @ please don’t lick the lobster tank. That is hilarious. What’s funny is I could actually hear my grandmother saying something like that!

  • Wow! Yes, we parents find so many things that we never thought that we would say! Some of your saying were very interesting! Do not lick the lobster tank is one saying that I have never heard! I found the list of what you never thought you would say to be funny!

  • I thought only my son did the stickers there. It was so hard not to laugh when he needed to know why not!

  • Oh my… the stickers on the penis gave me the giggles.
    Here’s one I thought I would NEVER EVER say…. “Don’t bite a hole in the car door!”
    My son would lean over the edge of his car seat & bite on the edge of the car door panel! Strange huh?

    • hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

      i’d have thought it was strange before having kids.

      now? notsomuch

  • Love the last one, Please don’t lick the lobster tank.

    • LOL! that inspired my post. if only i’d needed to say it just once….


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